I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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