I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
