And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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