I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize