maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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