and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she looked like the before picture.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
