my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
