i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
