so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
