Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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