I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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