i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
