big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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