my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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