Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Randomize
