i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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