i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
