Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
