You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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