Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
