I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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