Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
