Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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