It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
