tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
