it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
