If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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