Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
