Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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