Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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