FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
