If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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