He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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