You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
