nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize