wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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