Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
