The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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