I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need moral support for this bender
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
