Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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