Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is Oprah even human
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
