the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
