I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
