The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize