I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
