Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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