how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
