just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
