Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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