I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
