It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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