wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize