Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize