she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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