the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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