Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
