my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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