Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
