i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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